For a woman that doesn’t want to be a mom, I seem to “mother” alot.
Waste of Time
I’ve had some wacky dreams lately.
In one dream I was on a beach. This beach had nice sand and wasn’t crowded. The water was a perfect temperature. The weird thing was that there was a segregation between the rich man’s side and the poor man’s side. The poor man’s side had lower quality sand with sticks and other stuff in it. The rich man’s side was groomed, places to put your towel were marked out with white lines and the area inside was raised. There were big buff guards in swim shorts walking around to make sure poor people didn’t come over. So I (being a poor person) ran over, made a ruckus by kicking the towel areas around and messing up the lines. So two of the guards started chasing me. I ended up running into the water and was starting to lose them. Then I decided to dive and continue the chase by swimming. Bad move. One of them caught me. The funny thing was, one of the guards was in a wheel chair. AND he wheeled after me INTO the water and caught me when I started swimming. I was really confused. Can’t remember what happened after that.
In another dream (which was hatched last night), I was with my boyfriend, Josh at my Grandmother’s house. Only, it wasn’t her house. It was a little trailer on some very green grass. The neighbors also had a trailer but theirs had a little covered deck in the back. Josh and I tried playing baseball, but as I’m not a good thrower/catcher/batter, Josh was bored. So he went over to ask the neighbors (who had 3-4 boys) if they wanted to play baseball. They said “Sure, but can she (being me) throw decently?” So I threw the ball and it turned out to be a girly throw. In the end, the boys enjoyed themselves playing baseball and I went back to my grandmother’s house and cleaned out the basement. I felt a little dejected.
How does your brain come up with these scenarios?
Weirdness.
And I want to Die
Look! Another post about nothing!
It is thursday today. I got sick on saturday evening. I began my antibiotic treatment on sunday afternoon. The drugs I got were supposed to have kicked in on tuesday. I feel the same as I did saturday night. I feel like shit. I am now starting to lose the sleep that I was originally catching up on. I went to bed at 10pm last night but the lights didn’t go out until 12:30 or 1am. I woke up at 3am, then struggled to fall back asleep and then woke up two hours later at 5am. I sat in bed for about 45 minutes feeling sorry for myself and wanting my mom.
I really want my mom right now.
My throat is in a constant state of pain. I cannot yawn, swallow or turn my head without the pain increasing. Laying down makes it worse.
Buggerly hell.
Just… shoot me.
I Hate My Life
I’m in the depths of despair. So if you are a happy person than all I have to say to you is: Fuck Off.
Now on with the bitching. I feel like crap. I’ve got the combined symptoms of a cold and pms. I have headaches, sore throats, cramps, back pain, crabbiness, depression and all around bear-like behavior. I’m lonely and yet I don’t want company.
I am halfway through the summer and yet I have not earned enough money to have paid off half of my school loan (as I had expected). I am paying for horse boarding when I don’t get to see my horse. I hardly ever ride when I do see my horse. I would save hundreds of dollars if I could just sell her.
I’m paying $300/mo this summer to live in a dump with a couple of slobs. All I do is clean. All they do is make messes. I’m tired of it.
Shoot me.
Fed Up
My summer:
Haircut - Goodbye long lovely annoying curls. Hello spikes.
Work - Boring and tedious, save for the random cat fights between myself and the other girls.
My House - A pigsty. I have to clean up to be able to cook. It makes me incredibly happy that my boyfriend is a neat freak and not a slob/pig.
His House - Clean.
Cats - Going through serious withdrawal. The once-a-week visit to 40 cats just doesn’t seem to be working.
Weather - Tolerable.
Life - Relaxed.
So I haven’t been as active as I had originally planned to be (but that is usually the case anyway). My little pot-belly is still here and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere soon. It is my problem and I’ll deal with it, so stop yourself before you tell me to “do a couple situps every morning.” Fuck you and your fucking situps.
Why are girls so damn devious? And why can’t I get along with them? A couple girls at work are being rather mean to another co-worker. I have known this co-worker and her family for a long time so I’m incredibly ‘unhappy’ about their behavior. Long story short, the rest of their summer will be a living hell whenever they work with me. I’m normally not mean like that. But I’m fed up…… so there.
Summer
So my summer is going decently well. I have played Halo 3 until my eyes couldn’t take it anymore and I have also managed to BBQ my skin into a lovely sun burn. Yeah UV rays! Aside from that excitement I have also set up my schedule for next year at school. Now comes the hard part… deciding whether to take Ichthyology (study of fish) or a 3 week Marine Biology course that doesn’t start until the end of the school year. Frankly, I don’t want to do either, but it’s not easy to get what you want when you are trying to avoid certain instructors. There is also the fact that since my University is so small, it has a limited number of courses it can actually offer. As a result I, the animal biology student, am going to be taking microbial ecology and physiology. Courses that aren’t even related to my field. I just need to get some credits dammit!
Aside from that lovelieness I have been spending lots of time with my boyfriend. Ack, I hate that word. It’s so… highschool. And it seems too early for ’significant other.’ Sometimes when we are hanging out I will get the ‘deer in the headlights’ feeling and think: OMG! I’m not single anymore! It’s frightening. I’ve been the single crazy-cat lady for a while now. The heartless ice-queen as some have put it (rather harsh I’d say). And since I’ve been single so long (and because of my upbringing) I’m not used to getting attention and affection. It’s very strange to me and I feel like it’s taking too long to finally feel comfortable with it. Either that or I’m just much too stubborn and am still inside a shell. Thats all I can think of today. Hopefully that wasn’t altogether too boring. And if it was, here is a LOLcat to entertain you:
